TOP 10 ( as complied by complexrides)

10. Snyders of Hanover Honey Mustard and Onion Pieces

When compared with the endless array of potato chips on the market, pretzels feel pretty dull. Snyders has a cure for the common pretzel: their line of flavored pretzel pieces is off the chain. They have a total of nine varieties, though we've never actually run into the "bacon cheddar" version before. If we had, we suspect it would also be on this list too. No matter which of these flavors you grab, you'll be better off than you were with boring old pretzels.

 

9. Two Pack of S'Mores Pop Tarts

One of America's greatest traditions is allowing ridiculously unhealthy foods to masquerade as breakfast. Pop Tarts are at the forefront of this American pastime. Even their fruit flavored offerings provide next to no nutrition, but their breakfast-pastry-based-on-campfire-snack takes "dessert as breakfast" to a whole new level.

 

8. Martin's BBQ Waffle Chips

You've probably never heard of Martin's BBQ Waffle Chips unless you're from the blessed area of Pennsylvania that carries these bad boys. A friend once said, they are "the chip that eats like a steak dinner," and damn it, he's right. We include Martin's BBQ Waffle Chips here as a placeholder though. As you are reading through this list, you probably can't stop thinking of that chip that only exists in the Albuquerque metropolitan area, or that cookie company that only distributes as far as the Ohio border. We respect your local snack foods, but to include all of them here would be unfair to the vast swaths of the country that already have it bad enough not having that amazing snack. Here's to all the local snack foods across this great country. May your small business tax breaks keep the chips and cookies contributing to the health problems of the populace for years to come.

 

7. Combos

Cheese inside a pretzel has to be one of the great innovations of modern man. Who cares if it isn't actually cheese in there? If it tastes vaguely like a crumbly, powdered version of the dairy staple, it's good enough for us. You are not truly a road warrior until you have sampled all seven varieties.

 

6. Oatmeal Creme Pie

Little Debbie gets no damn respect. There was a gnashing of teeth and a rending of garments when Hostess went the way of the dodo; we wonder if the discount snack queen would get the same love should her sweet life be cut short. Though she is the red-headed step-snack brand, Debbie won't be beat in terms of value. Even at the gas station mark up, you can still get your hands on a pack of these for 50 cents.

 

5. Knock-off Snack Cakes

We don't want to hear you blubbering that you can't get your favorite treats anymore now that Hostess folded: there are at least a dozen companies out there making carbon copies with only a slight downgrade. In the greatest American tradition, gas station snack companies understand that if you can't beat 'em, make the same damn thing, just cheaper, and slightly worse tasting. 

 

4. Krispy Kreme Donuts

Every gas station carries donuts, but not every gas station carries Krispy Kreme donuts. This is what separates the good gas stations from the great. If you travel down south you can't throw a rock without breaking a Krispy Kreme display case, but up north, you get these gas stations that get their donuts from God knows where. If you decide to buy one of these, beware, you will dine on disappointment.

 

3. Peachie-Os

Your first reaction might be that you prefer gummy bears or gummy worms. Wrong. You prefer the idea of gummy bears and gummy worms. They remind you of your childhood or some B.S. But, when push comes to shove and you're craving a hit of gummy, you grab those Peachie-Os. Those other gummies are only for when you eat Peachie-Os three days in a row and feel the need to switch it up.

 

2. The Mixes - Party Mix, Trail Mix, or Chex Mix

When you become an adult, you often get the idea in your head that the only way to start a party is to get your hands on some booze and weed. Wrong! The original way to start a party is to get your hands on some righteous party, trail, or Chex mix. Odds are you can't stand at least one part of the mix: Nobody loves corn chips, tortilla chips, cheese curls, pretzels AND knock-off Doritos. Half the fun of party mix is digging through the bag and tossing your least favorite pieces out on to the road to poison the local wildlife as you dine on only your favorite portions of the mix.

 

1. Beef Jerky

No food helps you work out your frustrations as well as beef jerkey. If you feel like you might get lost, slowed by the elements, or stuck in traffic, be sure to grab some before the most arduous leg of your journey. You'll thank us as you work out your anger at the traffic gods by gnawing your way through some beef jerkey rather than punching the dashboard and hurting your hand. Furthermore, what other snack can claim that it once had Macho Man Randy Savage as a spokesman?